Friday, January 26, 2024

Immunity

 Just think about it....

If Mr. Trump succeeds in being held immune for any actions taken while president, this means that President Biden is immune right now!

So President Biden can lock up anyone he wishes.   He could direct Elon Musk to ship Mr. Trump to the Moon and leave him there.

Hmmmmmmm....

Monday, November 27, 2023

We Can Sleep Well.

How lucky are we here in the USA?

No one from South of the Border comes here to harm us - just to find a better, safer life!

And no one from North of the Border comes here to harm us - because they already have a peaceful, prosperous country! 


Many, many people can't say this.

Friday, September 16, 2022

Special Special Master

 If I should ever get in legal trouble, I just want everyone to know that I will be expecting to get my own Special Special Master to help me delay any justice I am facing.  And after that, I'll probably need a Special Special Special Master ..... and so forth.

Just letting you know...

Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Guns for Everyone!

 How can we not see the solution to our violence problem here in America?

We need more guns!

We need to amend the 2nd Amendment to not only allow citizens to own and carry arms, but to require that every citizen own and carry at least one handgun.

If parents are not able to afford a gun for their newborn, the government must provide the weapon of the parent's choosing.

Instead of little Duckies hanging over the crib, it could be a Glock!  (If the child is a Girl, the Glock should be Pink.)

Arn't you feeling safer already?

Friday, May 27, 2022

Something to Ponder

The Earth is roughly 8000 miles in diameter.

Could a. person live on an Earth only 1 mile in diameter?

If so, what would this Earth have to be like?



Wednesday, May 11, 2022

Every Russian Soldier....

During the terrible conflict in Ukraine, we sometimes forget that every Russian soldier - and every Ukrainian fighter - was once an infant - probably loved very much by his/her parents - who hoped and prayed for a prosperous and happy life for this tiny person.

Friday, May 6, 2022

Unlimited

Suppose one morning you woke up to discover you had been given unlimited political power.

What would you do?

Wednesday, May 4, 2022

Terrifying!

Years ago, my older cousin took his younger brother on the 1 mile walk to the movies.  They were maybe 10 and 5 years old at the time.

All was going well until the movie began.  The MGM lion appeared, snarled, and that was it!

The younger was terrified and headed for home!

Thursday, April 21, 2022

Our Senator Ain't Poor!

 30 Million??

https://caknowledge.com/rand-paul-net-worth/

(Keep in mind everything on the Internet may not be true!)

Ukrainian Girl - Russian Boy

Like most businesses, I suppose, we had interesting employees:

A secretary was a young lady who had come to the US from Ukraine to study.  She moved on to get a law degree and then founded her own firm on the west coast.

An engineering student worked briefly as an intern.  He was from Russia where his father was in the military.  He joined the US National Guard, becoming a top soldier.  He is now a medical doctor in the US. 

Both are fine people whom I suspect have friends and relatives who are dying in their home countries because of the ambitions of one man.

Saturday, March 26, 2022

Russian girl's reaction to invasion

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJplFVLQ85M

Steal Your Neighbor's Country?

 Let's say you are a young man looking for a wife.

Method one of wooing someone:   

1.  Develop a great personality

2.  Build a beautiful home

3.  Send lovely gifts

4.  Invite her into your life

Method two: .

1.  Beat her up

2.  Drag her, screaming, into your dump.

Putin is using the second method with Ukraine.

Friday, March 18, 2022

Using Putan's Logic

Putin claims that since Ukraine was once part of the Soviet Union, it belongs to Russia.


Well, the United States is part of the North American continent.

This was once part of the supercontinent,  Pangea.

Pangea was, of course, part of the Earth.

The Earth is part of the Solar System.

This is part of the Milky Way galaxy.

This, in turn,  is part of the Universe.

Therefore, friends and neighbors, the Universe belongs to the United States.

Sorry, Putin.

Monday, February 28, 2022

Soft Eyes

A family friend suggested trying Soft Eyes with our house cats:


It consists of simply looking at them with nearly closed eyelids - almost as if one is dozing off.


It seems to calm a cat almost immediately. 

Saturday, February 12, 2022

Rand Paul Trucker

 I understand that Rand Paul is hoping truckers will now move their blockades to the United States.

I suggest that they begin with his home driveway.

Thursday, December 2, 2021

Simply Shocking!

 I lived in a tiny camper for several years.

At one campground I did not realize the polarity of the electrical outlet into which my power cable was plugged - was reversed.

This came to my attention one evening when entering while it was drizzling.

When reaching for the grab-bar by the entrance door, I received a mild shock.

Of course, I had to step back and repeat - yes it definitely was a shock.

It was remedied the following day!



Monday, October 25, 2021

Unusual Contents

 My mother used a wheelchair for many years following contracting polio.  Because of that, certain things were packed for trips which most people would never need.

Following one such trip which concluded in a airplane ride, one of her checked bags was missing.

My father reported the missing bag at the service counter.

"What is in the bag?"

"A bed pan."

The person writing out the information seemed very puzzled, so Dad added, "She needs it."

Days later, the bag was delivered to my parent's home.

Dad said he then read the tag on the bag and could then see the reason for the strange look.

It read:  Dead Cat



Lying

Have you noticed that most comedies on TV are based on lying?  

This is nothing new - Lucy was always in trouble with Ricky for fibbing about something. 

(An exception seemed to be the Andy Griffith Show, where a premium was placed on Opie telling the truth.)

However, it is not so funny if our political or business leaders lie to us - or themselves.

I think it weakens our nation every time it occurs.

Saturday, October 2, 2021

Saving Money

 At the Mall, I was sitting in the Husband's Area - you know, the small area with comfy couches for abandoned men.

As usual, the store windows were plastered with On Sale signs.

After quite a while, as a lady approached loaded with bags, one of the fellows got up.

He said, "Well, I'm going home.  I've saved as much as I can afford to save."

And they left.

Monday, September 20, 2021

Cover Up

 Most of us believe cover-ups are bad.

However....

Do you have a cat litter box?

Sunday, September 12, 2021

Why Do You Smoke?

 After WW2, my father met with an old friend who had been a participant in the war.

Dad notice that he now smoked - a habit he had not had earlier in their friendship.

When asked how he happened to start smoking, he replied that it helped mask the stench of burning flesh.

Dad said he did not pursue the topic, but presumed there were two possible scenarios:  He encountered persons who had died while in the presence of fire - or - he encountered persons who were being encouraged to provide information by being burned.

Monday, September 6, 2021

Judging a Book

 A co-worker had once worked as a salesman at a well-known local car dealership.  He told this tale:


It was almost time to quit after a slow day.  A ragged old pickup truck rolled in.  None of the other salesmen was interested in wasting their time, so I walked out to meet the driver, obviously a working man with many miles under his belt.

He was interested in one of the nicer trucks we had on the lot and asked about the price.  I told him, and he asked if I would wait while he went home to get the money.  I said I would.

I figured I had seen the last of him, but, sure enough, he came back.  

He got out, peeled 100 dollar bills from a big roll, until the agreed-upon price was lying on the hood.

After some paperwork, he drove off - leaving me for a better appreciation for the old saying:  Never judge a book by its cover!

Saturday, August 21, 2021

Iron Lung

 My mother was in one of these after contracting polio in 1949.

If the vaccine had been available back then, I very much doubt she would have refused it!  

Polio left her in a wheelchair until her death.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6ezbEW9QZ4



It sure would be nice...

....if Anti-Vaxers would volunteer to pay the hospital and funeral expenses of those who listened to them.

Friday, July 30, 2021

Extinct

 Heard recently at a local business:

"What do you think will happen with the new round of Covid?"

"Well, I think Conservatives will die off, and Liberals will inherit the Earth."

Thursday, November 12, 2020

Sunday, November 1, 2020

Rounding the Corner

 "Rounding the Corner" week after week means 1 of 2 things:


Either we are moving very, very slowly - or -


We are going in circles.

Sunday, October 11, 2020

The American People??

 Has anyone noticed how often the word American is now followed by the word People?

Why not just say Americans?

Would we then be confused, thinking maybe the speaker is talking about American Dogs?  American Cats?  American Mules?

How about agreeing that we are, indeed, talking about the American People....people who sometimes fight like Cats and Dogs, are sometimes as stubborn as Mules...but, in the end, love, support, and respect each other?

Let's just call each other Americans...no matter what.

Friday, October 9, 2020

Bug Spray for Headlights

 At the Hardware Store the other day, I got a can of Off Bug Repellent.

When checking out, I was asked if I was aware that it could also be used to remove the film from headlight covers.  

I did not, but later tried it.

Surprise!

Worked like a charm!

Wednesday, September 30, 2020

First Presidential Debate

 There must be a system something like this if debates are to have any validity at all:


The 2 persons need to be in individual sound-proof booths - each with a microphone.

The moderator controls the microphones via switches.

Timers are visible to everyone showing time remaining for each participant's statement.

Microphones cut off when time is up.

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Let's Not Pussy-Foot Around!

 As we all know, our booming economy here in the USA is due to the current Administration reducing our taxes and reducing the burdens of law.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that NO TAXES and NO LAWS would be even better!   I can think of a few examples.

One of the simplest will be no need for stop signs or stop lights.  
And speed limits are, let's admit it, for loosers.

Gas will be cheaper with no gas tax.  Of course, everything will be cheaper!

I'm not quite sure how teachers will get paid.  But let's face it, kids should have the Freedom to decide if they want to go to school or not.

The Military will have to be all volunteers since there will be no taxes to pay them.  I guess volunteers will also fix potholes and bridges.

The controversy over Mail-In-Voting will end, since taxes support the Post Office.   No more Post Office!

Come to think of it, no more Congress - or Supreme Court - or any courts for that matter.   (No laws to enforce, remember?)

Don't worry about Defunding the Police.   There will be no police - except for self-appointed, armed people wandering around.  Machine guns will be just fine.

Obviously, lawyers will have to look for jobs elsewhere.  No laws mean no lawyers!

I, personally, look forward to printing my own money.  No need for a pesky job.

How do I prevent someone from "borrowing" my new TV?  Well, the only reason used to be:  It was against the Law to steal.  But, with no law.....

Oh, here's another one:

Doctors will no longer have to attend boring college and medical schools.
Anyone will be able to prescribe medicine and perform operations.

What about our huge National Debt.   Forget about it.....we're not paying it!  With no laws, we can't be sued.

And think of all the money saved by not paying for garbage pickup.  Just chuck it out the window - or better yet - into the creek.   Oh wait...we do that now.

Freedom will be Great!!

I can hardly wait.

Saturday, September 5, 2020

Kentucky Derby Problem

After having a tooth pulled, a dentist implanted an equine bone fragment into my jaw.

It has given no problems, except when hearing the trumpeter play the "Call to Post" at the Kentucky Derby, I have this huge urge to rush to the starting gates. 

Thursday, September 3, 2020

Just a Little Sex

 

Years ago Mom expressed interest in seeing a movie which I had previously seen. 
"Mom, it has a little sex in it."

 "Well, if it's only a little bit......"

Saturday, August 29, 2020

Let's Not Pussy-Foot Around!

 As we all know, our booming economy here in the USA is due to the current Administration reducing our taxes and reducing the burdens of law.


It doesn't take a genius to figure out that NO TAXES and NO LAWS would be even better!   I can think of a few examples.

One of the simplest will be no need to stop at stop signs or stop lights.  
And speed limits are, let's admit it, for loosers.

Gas will be cheaper with no gas tax.  Of course, everything will be cheaper!

I'm not quite sure how teachers will get paid.  But let's face it, kids should have the Freedom to decide if they want to go to school or not.

The Military will have to be all volunteers since there will be no taxes to pay them.  I guess volunteers will also fix potholes and bridges.

The controversy over Mail-In-Voting will end, since taxes support the Post Office.   No more Post Office!

Come to think of it, no more Congress - or Supreme Court - or any courts for that matter.   (No laws to enforce, remember?)

Don't worry about Defunding the Police.   There will be no police - except for self-appointed people wandering around - heavily armed.  Oh, there will be no stopping anyone from lugging their machine guns to the store.

Obviously, lawyers will have to look for jobs elsewhere.  No laws mean no lawyers!

I, personally, look forward to printing my own money.  No need for a pesky job.

How do I prevent someone from "borrowing" my new TV?  Well, the only reason used to be:  It was against the Law to steal.  But, with no law.....

Oh, here's another one:

Doctors will no longer have to attend boring college and medical schools.
Anyone will be able to prescribe medicine and perform operations.

And think of all the money saved by not paying for garbage pickup.  Just chuck it out the window - or better yet - into the creek.   Oh wait...we do that now!

Freedom will be Great!!

I can hardly wait.

Friday, August 21, 2020

Brayden Harrington.....

 .....is the kid who spoke on TV the other night about his stuttering.

I have great admiration for him being willing to do this.

The reason?

Many years ago, when I was very young,  I would get my younger sister to go with me to the hardware store in the nearest town.

There, she would ask to buy BBs for me.

Me Me Me

 Have you ever noticed that some folks only feel good when they are putting someone else down?

Saturday, August 15, 2020

Ear Removal

When in our teens, my younger cousin and I frequently went to the movies in his hometown.  

The theater was only 1 mile from their home, so sometimes we just walked.

One time was memorable:

Before the movie was to start, we thought it wise to visit the restroom.

There we were greeted by a couple of aspiring young hoodlums.

One pulled his knife and offered to cut off our ears.

We ignored him, peed, and left.


Thursday, August 6, 2020

Covid-19 is NO FUN!

https://www.hppr.org/post/kansans-who-got-coronavirus-still-struggling-weeks-or-months-later

The above was posted on the Kansas University newletter.

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Kitchen Sink Strainer (Drain) Suggestion

It is no fun trying to remove an old, leaking kitchen strainer/drain.

They usually have a giant nut (under the sink) - holding the drain assembly to the bottom of the sink.

It should be possible to use giant pliers  (or a special wrench) to turn this nut counter-clockwise to loosen it.  

But, it seems that it is often nearly impossible to turn.

I have watched many helpful YouTube videos showing how this nut might be removed using heat, or using various saws to cut it loose.

(As you may have learned, it is aggravating working upside down under your sink - especially when this area is chuck full of cleaning supplies.)

Now, if your sink strainer/drain is made of metal, you will have to use one of the YouTube methods, I'm afraid.

However, if it is made of plastic (see picture), you are in luck!  Just use giant pliers (Channel Locks) to crush the old strainer/drain and remove it piece-by-piece.

Then replace it with a new plastic unit.

Hint:  You may need to use silicone caulk rather than plumber's putty for the installation.   Mine required silicone.


Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Old Testament Letters to Advice Columnist 18

Dear Ann,

I am terrible at remembering anniversaries .

Any hints will be appreciated.

Your King,

Solomon


Sunday, June 7, 2020

Why Did You Come?

Lars, whom I have mentioned before, lived with our family for several years.

Having grown up speaking both Norwegian and English, he had "a way with words".

One evening we had all gone to visit friends.

Early on, we were invited to have some refreshments.

Not wanting to appear too forward, Lars replied:

"Ve didn't cum for de eatings.

Ve cum for to see de peoples!"

Silver Hawk

My cousin once owned a 1957 Studebaker Hawk, a nice little blue 2-door.

As years passed, it was no longer used and thus pushed to the back of his yard.

There, it was spied by a Studebaker enthusiast who asked about buying it.

My cousin warned him that it may have some rust, but the deal was made anyway.

Some time later the man returned and my cousin enquired about the car.

"It looked pretty good, so I decided to pressure-wash it.

When I finished, it looked like a screen door."

Spin in a Sprite

I had given my sister a 1959 Austin Healey "Bug Eye" Sprite.

(This little car made a VW Beetle look gigantic.)

It was a 2-seater with a cloth top and plastic side-curtains.

One snowy evening my younger cousin and I decided to drive it "around the block".

This meant driving over the mountain 3 miles to the nearest main road, turning right, drive through Mousie,  take another right at Wayland at the railroad tracks on to Highway 7, continue on until making another right on Route 899. 

It was here where things got exciting.

This right turn was extremely tight and up a steep grade.

The little Bug Eye's balding tires did not have enough grip to make the hill and we began slipping backward.

I've gotta admit, I was a bit concerned:

On the left was a mountain side.  On the right was a drop-off.  And it was my sister's car!

My cousin, however, remained calm.

Because the side curtain windows were nearly impossible to see through,  he opened his door and looked at the edge of the snow-covered road.

As I looked straight ahead, he gave instructions:

"A little my way.  Now, a little your way.  A little more...."

And so forth until we had gotten back onto Highway 7 far enough to take a "run and go" and make it up the grade and continue the 10 miles back home.

Whew!  That may have been our last trip "around the block".

Friday, May 22, 2020

Hanging

When our family lived in Texas, our neighbors across the street were the Zimmers.   

They had a son my age (about four).

One day he and I were playing cowboys.  

Dad arrived home just as I was turning blue from the hanging!

Saturday, May 9, 2020

Moon Shine

Years ago, my mother had completed her education through the 8th grade at a one-room school just on the edge of their farm.

When it came time to attend high school,  she was to enroll in a school 6 miles away in town.

Because it was horse and buggy days, it was deemed best that she board in a local hotel rather than travel back and forth to the farm each day.

It was her first extended time away from home, and she was terribly homesick.

When telling me the story many years later, she explained the solution:

"When I looked out the hotel window and saw the moon that first night, I thought, "That is the same moon which is shining on our farm!"

That made it much better.

I suppose we all need a little Moon Shine sometimes.

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Religious Rules 02

One day I was visiting with a member of a local church.

He assured me that (unlike other churches, I presume) his church had no "man-made" rules - only God's rules.


Saturday, May 2, 2020

Old Testament Letters to Advice Columnist 6

Dear Ann,

I love my husband.  

But now he spends all his time looking at magazines with pictures of huge fancy boats.  

I tell him, "Noah, we can't afford one of those things."  

But then he gets mad and says he will just build one himself.

Sometimes I just want to move in with my mother.

Mustard Seed

I heard this tale years ago:

An older couple attended an evening church service in Norway.

They scratched out a living on a small farm on the steep, rocky side of a huge mountain.

Farming, and life in general, was difficult for them.

So, they listened with rapt attention when the preacher told the parable of the Mustard Seed:

If they only had faith no greater than the tiny seed of the mustard bush, it would move a mountain!

On their way home they decided:

"Tonight we will have faith that our mountain will be moved.  Farming on flat land will be wonderful!"

As they crawled into bed, they concentrated on what they had heard.

With the breaking of dawn, the wife flew to the bedroom window.

She opened the shutters.

There stood the mountain!

"Just as I thought."

Thursday, April 30, 2020

Fire Fascination

There comes a time in many young boys' lives when there is this huge urge to burn something.

Such a time arrived for me, probably around age 10 or 12.

Several things coincided to make the "perfect storm":

1.  I was visiting my younger cousin.

2.  They had horses.

3.  So they had straw.

In their gravel driveway, we started a small fire which quickly burned out.

For some reason, I decided that building a larger fire closer to the barn would be a great idea.  After all, there was more straw there!

So we did.

As the flames reached several feet in height, my alarmed uncle rushed over and stomped it out with his work boots.

Then he spied me and rushed over to have a serious talk with me.

I greatly feared I might receive a stomping of my own.

I didn't, of course, but I can't remember ever being more afraid in my life!


Blind

I had just received a 1950 Ford as a present from my Aunt and Uncle.  

I was about 16 at the time.

It was winter and my younger cousin had come to visit.

Even though it was night and snowing heavily, we decided to take it for a test drive.

We were traveling maybe 45 mph when I decided to try out the overdrive feature.

This meant pushing in a control on the dashboard.

Unfortunately, instead of engaging the overdrive, I turned off the headlights.

"Where are we?" I shouted to my startled passenger.

"How should I know?" he shouted back.

Luckily I fumbled around and found the light switch before we drove into the ditch.

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Flu of 1918

This story is from Minnesota:

In a small southern Minnesota community there was concern for the health of twin brothers who farmed not far from town.

The flu was fierce, and neither brother had been to town recently.

Sadly, news arrived that one of them succumbed to the flu during the bitter winter.

The following spring, a surprised shop keeper met the surviving brother on the street and blurted out:  "Was it you, or your brother, that died?"


Military suggestions for DIY Masks

This was posted on Yahoo.com

https://www.military.com/daily-news/2020/04/06/diy-t-shirt-masks-and-balaclavas-military-services-release-face-covering-guidance.html


Saturday, April 25, 2020

Abraham Lincoln Quote

I ran across this quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln:

"I do not like that man.

I'll have to get to know him better."

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Covid Mask Materials - 2

New article on Face Mask materials from Yahoo News:

https://www.yahoo.com/huffpost/best-coronavirus-face-mask-materials-new-study-120000624.html

Monday, April 20, 2020

Ukraine

A young lady from Ukraine worked for the company for which I also worked here in the USA.

She was hard-working.  (She had two jobs at once!)

She was very smart.

She helped customers find us on the Internet.

She helped with translation of English into Russian when we sold machines to Ukraine and Russia.

Later, she moved away, went back to school,  and became a lawyer.

Now she owns her own business in International Law in California!

Health Care - 2 Kinds

Just listened to a discussion of Health Care in the US on National Public Radio.

Seems there are (2) basic types:

1.  Hospitals treat sick people and send out bills for these services.

2.  Hospitals receive a set amount of money up front to keep a person WELL.  They get to keep any money left over.


It looks like:

1st type:  Makes most money the sicker people are.

2nd type:   Makes most money the "Weller" people are.


Which do you have?

Friday, April 10, 2020

Covid-19 - Too Hard?

I was just thinking:

We had a neighbor who was in the trenches in France during World War One.

Thousands of Americans served in Europe and Asia in World War Two.

Americans served again in Korea.

Then Vietnam.

And then in Iraq and neighboring countries.

Now is our turn.

But the difference is:  We are just asked To Stay Home!

And, it seems, some of us can't even do that.

Thursday, April 9, 2020

Looking for a Bargain

Having taught in Higher Education for several years, I make the following observation:

An Education is one of the few things many are willing to pay for - but not get.


Spanish Lesson

One day at work, I got the following message on the intercom:

"Al, there is someone speaking Spanish on the phone.  Pick up Line 2."

I am not sure why I was chosen to answer as I knew no Spanish.

"Hello?"

A high lady's voice was heard, talking 60 miles an hour.

"Non Comprehendo."  This was the only phrase I knew.

A pause, and then more rapid talking.

Very slowly, I said:  "I - only - speak - English!"

A longer pause, and then:

"But - I am speaking English!"


Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Covid-19 Bandana

The Bandana may be effective in the fight against Covid-19.

Consider this:

When have you last heard of anyone catching the virus during a stagecoach robbery?


Here is an approach to making a mask - from CBS New York:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfyTDy_VIek

Covid-19 Disinfectants

This is from the United States EPA:

https://www.epa.gov/pesticide-registration/list-n-disinfectants-use-against-sars-cov-2

Be safe!  

We are all loved by someone.

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Fear Birthday Candles

I think I was in second grade when a "displaced person" joined our class.

I recall this person as a little girl from (Nazi) Germany.

I don't think she spoke English, and I remember her as painfully shy.

One day, someone brought a Birthday Cake into our room complete with burning candles.

Our new classmate immediately hid under a desk.

I suppose she had endured bombing at some time.

Little kids should not experience such things.


Saturday, April 4, 2020

Covid-19 Mask News

This seems to be important for those of you making Covid masks:

https://news.yahoo.com/using-blue-shop-towels-homemade-221911287.html

Religious Rules 01

A local lady belonged to a church which forbade women from wearing "men's" clothes.

One day, being a modest person, she put on overalls before doing repairs to the roof on her house.

She was kicked out of her church.

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Covid-19 Suggestion for Gov. of KY

The Governor of Kentucky has asked citizens to email their questions to him to be addressed during his daily 5 pm news conferences on television.

I sent the following:

Can you decree the following?

Any junk mail destined for delivery in Kentucky must:

1.  Be printed on Toilet Paper.

2.  Contain no staples.


Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Old Testament Letters to Advice Columnist 5

Dear Ann,

I am afraid my husband David is loosing his mind.
  
Yesterday he was out with the boys conquering the neighbors, and then on the way home he just stripped down naked as a jay-bird.  

I just don't understand him at all.

Embarrased

Monday, March 30, 2020

Old Testament Letters to Advice Columnist 4

Dear Ann,

My wife Eve recently stays out late.  

She says she is shopping for clothes.  

What are clothes?

Sincerely Puzzled,

Adam

Saturday, March 28, 2020

Harley Davidson Tanks

Our farm had a large shed where odds and ends were stored.

I remember two sleighs were there.

An old mower or two.

Our Model A Ford.

The building had been constructed of rough-sawn cottonwood boards.

I suppose that when built, the boards were nailed next to each other - horizontally.

But, as they dried, they shrank, leaving large gaps.

It also had a dirt floor.

This is important to the story because, for some reason, I began digging one day.

There, I unearthed two tanks - both with caps.

I learned that one was a fuel tank and the other an oil tank - for a Harley Davidson motorcycle - probably 1914.

Dig as I might, nothing else appeared.

Dad thought the rest may have gone to a scrap metal drive during WWII.

I still have the tanks.

1914 Maxwell

Hunting in the woods I often detoured around the remains of an old car.

It was said to have been owned by my grandfather.

Much of it was gone, but most of the engine, the radiator, the drivetrain,  parts of the wheels, as well as the frame remained.

I used a home-made tractor received from my Uncle to drag it home.

It is a 1914 Maxwell.

I am hoping some day someone will want it in exchange for doing some work on our 1929 Model A Ford.

Let me know in the Comments if you are interested!

The Perfect Weapon

Let's say you want to design the perfect weapon some afternoon.

What would it look like?

It might look a lot like Covid 19.

1.  You don't know you have it for 2 weeks.

2.  Symptoms are mild at first.

3.  You can party with your friends, passing it to them without their knowing it....at least for a while.

4.  Passing it on is effortless.

5.  Many recover, so you don't worry about it too much...at first.

6.  You know being tested will be free - (but, surprise,  treatment is not!)

7.   Someone will develop a shot for it.....someday.

8.  Maybe in time to save your life.

Covid 19 Virus

My sister-in-law is also our next door neighbor....a wonderful neighbor.

She is a nurse of many years working in the county Health Department.

Her job has taken a very serious turn - screening folks for the virus.

We are proud of her.

We worry for her.

We are thankful for her.

Friday, March 27, 2020

Old Testament Letters to Advice Columnist 3

Dear Ann,

I think there's something fishy going on with my husband, Jonah. 

I'm worried.

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Old Testament Letters to Advice Columnist 2

Dear Ann,

My husband Moses refuses to stop and ask directions.  

Should I say anything?

Patient Wife

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Neanderthal

My junior and senior years of college were spent in Northfield, Minnesota at Saint Olaf College.

I remember, around 1965, moving between classes in a hallway.  

I briefly caught sight of of very unusual person:

A man in what appeared to be English dress complete with tweed jacket - but a Neanderthal!  

I did not stare, but it remains a memory, some 55 years later.

Old Testament Letters to Advice Columnist 1

Dear Ann,

I'm only 570 years old, but I don't seem to have the energy I had when in my 400's.  

What can I do?

Exhausted

Cruel Jokes

Many years ago, cruel jokes were circulating.
I can only remember (3):

"Mommy, Mommy!
Why am I going in circles?"
"Shut Up - or I'll nail your other shoe to the floor!"

"Mommy, Mommy!
Why are we going to Europe?"
"Shut Up - and keep swimming!"

"Mommy, Mommy!
Why are we pushing our brand new car over a cliff?"
"Shut Up - you'll wake up Daddy!"


Vapo-Rub

Applying Vapo-Rub to my feet accomplished one thing:

Cats now find me attractive.


Death

We all die......don't we?

How about that guy in the Old Testament who "got taken up"?

And how about those in the Bible who got raised from the dead.  Did they die again later?  Seems kinda a shame, if so.

What if you lived to be 50 (for example) - and then moved somewhere where no one knew you?
There you lived to be 60 - but still appeared to be - and were -50 - and then moved again.
If you kept moving,  no one would notice that you did not age.

Hmmmm.

Could be that new neighbor who just moved in....

Sunday, March 8, 2020

Place of Residence

Several years ago, a lady in Minnesota was asked where her nephew was living.

"Vell, I tink he is in Minneapolis.   No, it vas Delute.  Or maybe.....
Vell, I know he is Someplace!"

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Bible Wisdom

Lars, who had grown up in rural Minnesota, spoke both Norwegian and English.

He had driven his car (De Dodge) into town one day and when he returned, relayed this story:

"I vas into Hauser's Hardvare, and der vas Charlie Hanson.  He vas talking to some guy about de Bible.

After a little vile I valked up to Charlie and I said, "Charlie.  I have yust been reading that part dat you are talking about.  I haven't seen anyting like vat you are saying."

Den Charlie says, "Vell, you know Lars, you got to read betveen de lines!"

And I says, "But Charlie, I don't know vat vords I should put betveen de lines!""

Sunday, March 1, 2020

Chest Pains

Several years ago, my wife's grandfather was having chest pains.

The family wasted no time in heading for the hospital.

However, Grandpa insisted on taking a detour into Lee's Famous Recipe Fried Chicken on the way.

There is no sense in taking a chance on hospital food.

Importance of Education

My father, a teacher, reported this comment from the mother of a student:

"I told my boy, "If you ain't got high school,  you ain't got nottin!""

Immunity

 Just think about it.... If Mr. Trump succeeds in being held immune for any actions taken while president, this means that President Biden i...